Democrat Campaign slogans
The Democrats are out there again using their same old tired slogans. You know the Republicans are evil, the environment is dying, the rich aren’t paying taxes yawn. I think that they need someone to help write them new lines. With this, I have come up with a few slogans and campaign themes to help them on their way.
We (the leadership) are the few, the proud, the elite
Ask not what your country can do for you; ask what your country can do to your neighbors
If at first you don’t succeed, we have a government program for you
Government health care: from the same people who brought you falling bridges, failing schools and insecure borders
Environmental policy: No cars, no power, and no luxuries like Robinson Caruso you will soon be primitive as can be
Combating evil: We will stop our war in places like Iraq and Afghanistan against people who physically hurt Americans so we can focus our efforts on people like Rush Limbaugh and Sean Hannity who are hurting us with words
The Liberal motto: Do as we say not as we do
No matter your problem, we have a tax for that
Saturday, October 6, 2007
Red Eye Intros
There is a show on late night TV called Red Eye. While Obviously I am too old to stay up until 2 am and see it, I have started recording it to watch at a reasonable hour. They have these funny intros and on their websites http://www.dailygut.com/ and http://www.itsjustwordplay.blogspot.com/ they have an area where fans can come up with their own intros. Its basically sexual induenos.
I have decided to post the ones I came up with there but also here.
If beauty were an amusement park ride I would loose my lunch while riding her
If beauty were an amusement park ride I would scream while riding her
If brains and beauty were a submarine the navy would fill her full of worthy seamen
If intelligence were a parking space I would back slowly into him
If beauty were an umbrella I’d use her outside on a rainy day
If intelligence was a department store her clothes would be half off on the holidays
If brains were Dungeons and Dragons nerds would do her in their basement
If beauty were a sled I’d ride her in the snow
If beauty were an envelope I would moisten her with my tongue
If beauty were a bull I would try and ride her hard for eight seconds
If beauty were eggs I would take her over easy every morning.
If beauty were piano keys I would tickle her for crowds
If beauty were bad brakes she would make weird noises every time I used her
I have decided to post the ones I came up with there but also here.
If beauty were an amusement park ride I would loose my lunch while riding her
If beauty were an amusement park ride I would scream while riding her
If brains and beauty were a submarine the navy would fill her full of worthy seamen
If intelligence were a parking space I would back slowly into him
If beauty were an umbrella I’d use her outside on a rainy day
If intelligence was a department store her clothes would be half off on the holidays
If brains were Dungeons and Dragons nerds would do her in their basement
If beauty were a sled I’d ride her in the snow
If beauty were an envelope I would moisten her with my tongue
If beauty were a bull I would try and ride her hard for eight seconds
If beauty were eggs I would take her over easy every morning.
If beauty were piano keys I would tickle her for crowds
If beauty were bad brakes she would make weird noises every time I used her
Saturday, September 29, 2007
The online dating sceen
Hello,
This is my first blog on the blogger.com website and I know it should be on something important like Hillary’s laughable health care fix or the war on terror or even the Iranian dictator finding is soul mates at Columbia University but its not.
I want to talk about the trials and tribulations of the online dating scene. It takes a brave (or desperate) soul to go online looking for love. I am half brave and half desperate so it’s the perfect spot for me. Besides I don’t drink so going to bars are out of the question.
Let me tell you some of the results in no particular order. I have had “met” at least two “women” in online dating services who just happen to be stuck in Africa due to bad circumstances in their lives. They also just happen to always be on line at 9pm in the Eastern US time zone which is like 3 am over there.
So then I thought that maybe the pay site eHarmony might be a good one. So far it is. I have met some nice women there. However there have been some weird ones. I had one woman who invited me to her condo at like 8:30pm one night, sit on my lap and instigate kissing me. She even took off her shirt so I could rub her back. I get home from that encounter with an email telling me I was “smothering her”.
The worst so far has to be the woman I met who told me she was being held captive and that marrying me was her only salvation. I should have known better then to go on www.captivedates.com but that was my mistake.
I think all in all, the best thing to do is to follow the Greg Gutfeld rules for dating. Don’t do it!
Well I am off to see the wizard so live long and prosper and may the force be with you.
This is my first blog on the blogger.com website and I know it should be on something important like Hillary’s laughable health care fix or the war on terror or even the Iranian dictator finding is soul mates at Columbia University but its not.
I want to talk about the trials and tribulations of the online dating scene. It takes a brave (or desperate) soul to go online looking for love. I am half brave and half desperate so it’s the perfect spot for me. Besides I don’t drink so going to bars are out of the question.
Let me tell you some of the results in no particular order. I have had “met” at least two “women” in online dating services who just happen to be stuck in Africa due to bad circumstances in their lives. They also just happen to always be on line at 9pm in the Eastern US time zone which is like 3 am over there.
So then I thought that maybe the pay site eHarmony might be a good one. So far it is. I have met some nice women there. However there have been some weird ones. I had one woman who invited me to her condo at like 8:30pm one night, sit on my lap and instigate kissing me. She even took off her shirt so I could rub her back. I get home from that encounter with an email telling me I was “smothering her”.
The worst so far has to be the woman I met who told me she was being held captive and that marrying me was her only salvation. I should have known better then to go on www.captivedates.com but that was my mistake.
I think all in all, the best thing to do is to follow the Greg Gutfeld rules for dating. Don’t do it!
Well I am off to see the wizard so live long and prosper and may the force be with you.
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